Post by T
It is usually pretty easy to figure out the wrong descriptions
(Hard Drive = computer case, "The Picture" = Desktop, screen
saver = desktop), but today was a real head ache.
Ejecting the CD tray.
The space between drives in the case bays (yep, kids). Luckily it was
a tower case.
Scanner isn't working
User is holding paper against monitor while running scanner software.
Can't move down a web page
Dragging the scrollbar down (instead of up).
Wonders why their cordless phone goes dead when they turn off their PC
using the power strip (where the cordless phone is plugged into).
PC goes off when leave room
PC on switched wall outlet.
Cordless mouse/keyboard stopped working
Needs new batteries.
PC comes on, not monitor
Use the pwr switch on the monitor.
Mouse is hard to use
Trackball turned upside down, ball kept falling out.
Booting to wrong OS or says missing kernel
Remove CD from drive.
Can't access network
Scheduled maintainence/outage, everyone informed, user doesn't bother
to read company e-mail notifications (required by policy).
Request to remove lockscreen
User wanted it easier to text while driving. Denied.
Printer always ran out of paper overnight
Found a user was downloading AND printing porn. Fired. No one wanted
to touch his keyboard. Discarded.
Can't access site
Employee wants exclusions to censor list so they can prattle at
Facebook, Twitter, etc while at work. Denied. Tried using an
external VPN service provider. Manager informed.
User still gets error from known fixed bug
Reports error. Provided with update. Still reports error. Asked if
they installed the update. No.
Unplugged to clean. Tell them to plug back in. They don't know how.
No Microsoft Office
Well, it isn't in the distro package. Buy it, install it. Expects
ALL Microsoft software to come in Microsoft's Windows.
Can't get new APG video card working, no video on boot
(Won't describe everything he did for 2 months - and he was a tech
also working in the same QA dept). Brought it in figuring to swap
it out alpha lab gear. Noooooo way. Looked at it. Pressed the card
completely down into AGP slot. Booted and worked okay. Wouldn't go
out to lunch with me until I managed to stop grinning when I saw him.
Remembers his password but not his username. Told it was his
<first><last> names, no spaces, all lowercase. Complains that he
couldn't possibly remember such a long name. It's HIS name and he
can't remember that?
Speakers not working (externally powered)
No power (unplugged). They called back after plugging in, still no
sound. Turn up volume knob on speaker.
How to use telephone
New phones put on workdesks. Get a call asking "How do I use the
phone?" "Um, how did you call me?" "Oh, ah, never mind."
How to install a program
Caller asks "I started the install. Says to click Next. What do I
do?" "What happens when you click Next?" "Oh, it's working now."
Bug found, dev says software works okay
QA reports a bug in a new release. Developer reports the software
works on his workstation. Great, ship your workstation to the
customer. Dev had installed an SDK that the customer wouldn't have
and not part of the installation (nor should be required).
No details at all
"My manager's PC isn't working." "What is happening?" "Don't know,
don't use it. Can you fix it?"
"Does the floppy need to be in the drive when I save to it?"
(Troubleshooting a problem.) User reports nothing happened.
Eventually user mentions "Does the computer have to be on?"
The KVM was at fault
User can't get any keystrokes recognized by computer. Found he uses a
KVM. Had him switch shared keyboard to other computer. Now it works.
"No, clicking the 'Remember Password' button will not help YOU
remember the password."
Customer keeps saying "Look are where I'm pointing!"
Colors are unique
"What brand and model of computer do you have?" "A black one."
"We're open 24 hours." "Is that Eastern time?"
"Printer says it's out of paper. How do I get it to print?"